I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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