I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
