Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
