Is it normal to miss your booty call?
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
