I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I have fence marks all over my body
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
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