that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
