Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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