They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
