I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
