Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
