Heybabeimwearingurpanties
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I need moral support for this bender
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Randomize
