Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize