I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
My dick has a subreddit
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
