hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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