my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
