dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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