I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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