wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
