you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize