she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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