I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
