There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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