I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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