I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
