so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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