you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
