So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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