He is such a slut. More and more my type.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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