i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
