Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
