Only a mothe r could love this liver
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
