She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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