ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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