How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
