I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
