They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
