I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
