I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
