How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
