happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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