This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
