So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
