forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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