In the future we'll all be gay
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
