i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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