quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize