didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
