Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(356): View more from

her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..

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(201): View more from New Jersey

i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line

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(613): View more from Ontario

I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.

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(602): View more from Arizona

Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar

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(816): View more from Missouri

I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring

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(516): View more from New York

I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line

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(803): View more from South Carolina

this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie

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(859): View more from Kentucky

i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me

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