when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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