Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
