How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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