the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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