I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
He felt like a one man threesome
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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