everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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