at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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